bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize