we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
