: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
