I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
