You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
