therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
