last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
