Where did you get a picture of my penis
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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