Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
