I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
