Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
