I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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