Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
