Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
