If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
not ubering you a puppy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
