there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
