Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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