I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
