Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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