if you like me you must not know who I am
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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