playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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