If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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