you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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