just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
