I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
