I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
