Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
