I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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