She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
