just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My first STD was from a foam party
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
