My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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