from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
