I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
