there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
