I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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