I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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