i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
