I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
