hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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