he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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