Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
