She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
