I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize