Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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