i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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