I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
His nipple licking is glorious
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