he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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