I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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