you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
