Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
