I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
