Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
