You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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