Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No subtext here. People are naked.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
