idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
